Dear A-hole who tried to steal my car last night,
You are a complete dill weed. Why on earth you would want a 2001 Corolla is beyond me. Kelly Blue Book would agree. And you must have been a TOTAL AMATEUR because in trying to get into my car to steal it, you COMPLETELY jacked up my locks. And the driver's side door. Not cool. Now I have to unlock and lock my car from the passenger side (and that is even stripped).
I'll say it again, you're a DILL WEED. Thank you for ruining my Thursday. I hope you prematurely lose your hair. You know, because I assume you are a man.
Here's to hoping that Friday is MUCH better.