Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Things I Learned Driving Cross Country.

I learned MANY things on my cross country trek to my new home. I thought I would share them with you.
  • Road trips are a GREAT time to sneak in visits with friends who are along the way, even if you just get to stop for a hug.
  • Utah is beautiful. BUT there is absolutely no cell reception there. Zip. Zero. Zilch. If it's dark and you get a flat tire and you are alone, The Hills Have Eyes type of stuff is what will happen to you. I'm convinced.
  • Oh, and in Utah there are like 2 gas stations. You should stop at each of them so you don't end up with a scenario like the bullet point before this one.
  • Gas station food does not a good diet make. Especially for 2 1/2 days straight.
  • Book on CD is KEY. I spent 2 FULL days in the car. Alone. Pretty sure I solved all of the world's problems in my head. Also "read" The Hunger Games (thank you Katy). Although since I couldn't see it in print, I thought the narrator was being lazy and calling what I thought was the character Peter "Pita" (pronounced Pee-tah). His name in the book is Peeta. Go figure.
  • I can't keep a straight face when filling up my tank at a gas station called "Kum and Go". What. Don't pretend like you're so much more mature than I am. 12-year-old boy humor will get me EVERY TIME.
  • Nebraska is an absolutely useless state. What is it good for? Besides being where Andy Roddick and Bryan Greenberg were born, NOTHING. And I am not being dramatic. What a waste of land. BORING. PS- welcome to the Big Ten, Nebraska.
  • And if you stop at a gas station in Nebraska, you'll likely see a gift shop inside the gas station that sells dream catchers, taxidermy-ed everything and t-shirts with wolves on them.
  • And also at that same gas station you'll also see a cashier who looks like she stepped out of a Cyndi Lauper video circa 1986 complete with frosty make-up and permed peroxide tresses.
  • And then a real live cowboy will call you a sweet little thing as you bounce into the gas station from your car and he'll tell you to "travel safe".
  • Every time I drive through Omaha (which has been 4 times total now), I sing that Counting Crows song. I bet they never get that there. *
  • Lots of people will text you and want to know where you are and what you're doing. You shouldn't text them back. It's bad to text and drive. Instead just let them worry about you.
  • You know you're approaching the Midwest when you start to see Culver's signs along with all of the Subway advertisements at the exits.
  • Oh and speaking of Subway, pretty sure there is one at EVERY exit. Ever. And when you're not in the mood for Subway that's when it's all you can find. Kill.
  • When the last day involves 15-16 hours of driving, that last hour is torture, but it's exciting torture. The feeling you get when you finally see that gorgeous Chicago skyline, well, it's pure magic. Butterflies rumbly in my tumbly. No other way to describe it.
And so, that was my trip. The last month has been an absolute whirlwind. I am writing from an air mattress and the movers are supposed to come today. Finally getting settled. Back to a schedule. Back to sanity. Back to the blogosphere. I miss LA, and I miss my girls. But I am a happy Midwestern camper!


  1. Wait, did you move? I so confuse. Your bullet points were hilarious.

  2. Yes I did! I moved to Chicago last month. Miss my girls :(

  3. I think almost every comment I leave on here goes something like this... "YOU SHOULD WRITE FOR A MAGAZINE!"

  4. Northern Minnesota has gas stations called "Pump & Munch". I giggle every time. Every. Time.

  5. First of all, I apologize for continuing to text you on your drive through Nebraska, but I was trying to keep you entertained, and essentially, alive. Just driving through that state, you could die of boredom alone. And from my own unforgettable treks through NE, I remember the dream catchers and wolf t-shirts like it was just yesterday...too funny, Ing.

  6. Jules, you weren't the only one and I appreciate you entertaining me through NE. I probably would have died of boredom otherwise!

  7. While driving in Georgia, I came across a little place called the Squat N Grub. Oh, I love the 12 year old boy humor.
    Also, welcome home.

  8. I'm just about to embark on a road trip and I couldn't help but giggle at your observations... what a great post!