Kelly Kapowski Called...

...and she wants her shirt back!

I spy (spied) with my green little eye at The Taste of Lincoln: one very intoxicated middle aged man wearing a belly shirt! I mean, I can't. The entire outfit. I wonder why he paired a visor with a belly shirt. And was he heading to soccer practice after? That is what his kicks suggest. The look on that girl's face- pure bewilderment. And to top it off? He was PRETTY much making out with his french fries that were in that little tub. And eating them with a fork. I never understood why people eat french fries with a fork. But then again. I eat edamame with chopsticks. So....

**Photo credit to the one and only POC!

All Dressed Up!

Need to find somewhere to go! Snagged this bad boy when sister Molly popped in for a quick visitation sans kiddolets!

It's so dreamy. H&M. Can't go wrong. Disposable dresses. And by disposable I mean I will wear it more than once. Confused? Me too.

Sleep With One Eye Open.

When I don't know what to do about something I call my dad. Even when I know he can't do a DAMN thing to help. And yes, even when I know he won't have a clue what to tell me to do. I can't help it.

I just got back from a weekend visiting with my sis and her fam (and my KIDDOS! I got such sweet hugs and love). I walked in my room and spotted a bug on my bed. Ew. Whatever. I dealt with it. BUT upon further investigation by my sleuth of a roommate (and with the help of google images) we figured out it was (likely) a TICK.

A tick? Um...ok. So what did I do? I called my dad. Here is a peek into our pointless conversation.

Me: Dad?

Dad: Hi Ing. What's up? I just talked to you.

Me: I know. I need help. I found a bug. In my bed.

Dad: A bug?

Me: Yes, a bug. And Katie googled it. And it looks like it might be a tick.

Dad: A tick? Can't be. Unless...Ing, were you in the woods?

Me: Yeah Dad, I've been in the woods (Spoken with heavy SARCASM. Naturally.)

Dad: Well, I don't know. That's usually where ticks are. Ticks aren't in the city. Was it tiny?

Me: Teeny tiny. Well is it one of those things- where you see one there are 10 more? (PANIC in my voice)

Dad: I don't think so. You killed it right?

Me: Yes. But I'm puzzled. Maybe it hitched a ride into the city on a dog who was in the woods.

Dad: Oh Ing, I don't know. It's a mystery of the church.

Me: (Heavy sigh). You don't have the answers I need. Ok, I am done talking about this. If I wake up with Lyme's disease or ticks eat me alive in my sleep, tell Mason and Emme that I love them.

Dad: I don't know what you want me to tell you. Now you're just being silly. You'll be just fine. Maybe you should bleach your sheets though. That's not a bad idea actually.

You see that? That conversation had no point. I knew when I called my dad that he wouldn't have any useful or helpful information for me. And it's now documented that I may get eaten alive in my sleep by creepy little bugs.

The Train, The Train!

The train is good for 2 things. It's good from getting you from point A to point B. Obviously. The other thing it's good for? People watching. Proof:

A lil bit of Jersey ridonkey-kong-ness in America's heartland. I wonder what he says to himself when he looks in the mirror in the morning. And what is the thought process that brings a person to dye the front half of his head like that? I'll never know because I only take photos of unsuspecting people, I'm not an investigative journalist.

**Photo credit to Miss Lauren S. THANK YOU for letting me make you take photos with your iPhone.

My Bike, My Bike! I Want My Bike!

Picture me stomping around like the little girl in The Goonies (was it Data's little sister?) when Brand took her bike to chase after Mikey.

And that is what I will be doing on Tuesday September 13th at Target when THIS becomes available to me for purchase:

Like I said, "I want my bike!". Missoni for Target. Next stop, Anticipation Station! The collection has over 400 pieces and I can't promise you that I won't buy one of everything. And I also can't promise you that the Wicked Witch of the West song won't trail me wherever I ride my bike.

Is it Possible?

Here is a question for the ages. Is it possible to fall in love with a fictional character? I mean, is it? Because if it is, I think I might have. With him.

Not Ryan Gosling. But his character Jacob Palmer. Swoonballs just isn't going to cut it. I need a new word. Do yourself a favor and go see Crazy Stupid Love. You won't be sorry. You might be mad that you're not dating or married to Jacob Palmer. Maybe you're mad he didn't use the signature Dirty Dancing move on you. But it's worth getting mad about, trust.

Things I Learned Driving Cross Country.

I learned MANY things on my cross country trek to my new home. I thought I would share them with you.

• Road trips are a GREAT time to sneak in visits with friends who are along the way, even if you just get to stop for a hug.
• Utah is beautiful. BUT there is absolutely no cell reception there. Zip. Zero. Zilch. If it's dark and you get a flat tire and you are alone, The Hills Have Eyes type of stuff is what will happen to you. I'm convinced.
• Oh, and in Utah there are like 2 gas stations. You should stop at each of them so you don't end up with a scenario like the bullet point before this one.
• Gas station food does not a good diet make. Especially for 2 1/2 days straight.
• Book on CD is KEY. I spent 2 FULL days in the car. Alone. Pretty sure I solved all of the world's problems in my head. Also "read" The Hunger Games (thank you Katy). Although since I couldn't see it in print, I thought the narrator was being lazy and calling what I thought was the character Peter "Pita" (pronounced Pee-tah). His name in the book is Peeta. Go figure.
• I can't keep a straight face when filling up my tank at a gas station called "Kum and Go". What. Don't pretend like you're so much more mature than I am. 12-year-old boy humor will get me EVERY TIME.
• Nebraska is an absolutely useless state. What is it good for? Besides being where Andy Roddick and Bryan Greenberg were born, NOTHING. And I am not being dramatic. What a waste of land. BORING. PS- welcome to the Big Ten, Nebraska.
• And if you stop at a gas station in Nebraska, you'll likely see a gift shop inside the gas station that sells dream catchers, taxidermy-ed everything and t-shirts with wolves on them.
• And also at that same gas station you'll also see a cashier who looks like she stepped out of a Cyndi Lauper video circa 1986 complete with frosty make-up and permed peroxide tresses.
• And then a real live cowboy will call you a sweet little thing as you bounce into the gas station from your car and he'll tell you to "travel safe".
• Every time I drive through Omaha (which has been 4 times total now), I sing that Counting Crows song. I bet they never get that there. *
• Lots of people will text you and want to know where you are and what you're doing. You shouldn't text them back. It's bad to text and drive. Instead just let them worry about you.
• You know you're approaching the Midwest when you start to see Culver's signs along with all of the Subway advertisements at the exits.
• Oh and speaking of Subway, pretty sure there is one at EVERY exit. Ever. And when you're not in the mood for Subway that's when it's all you can find. Kill.
• When the last day involves 15-16 hours of driving, that last hour is torture, but it's exciting torture. The feeling you get when you finally see that gorgeous Chicago skyline, well, it's pure magic. Butterflies rumbly in my tumbly. No other way to describe it.

And so, that was my trip. The last month has been an absolute whirlwind. I am writing from an air mattress and the movers are supposed to come today. Finally getting settled. Back to a schedule. Back to sanity. Back to the blogosphere. I miss LA, and I miss my girls. But I am a happy Midwestern camper!

Fashion Police!

Spotted at the Taste of Lincoln street fest this past weekend:

Obscene use of mismatching plaids/patterns. Plus he looks like Ronnie from "The Jersey Shore" from the back.

People watching is honestly the best. I could do it for HOURS.

And yes, I am back. Life has started to stabilize for me so I will be back on the blogger. Happy Monday!