Sunday, May 13, 2012

Liquid Gold Stud Earrings.

Liquid Gold Stud Earrings.  That name alone would make me want to buy the earrings without having even seen them.  But then I saw them.
And then I loved them.  And decided I needed them in my life.  And it was F&F discount time.  And then I bought them.  For myself.  As a belated birthday present.  Because it's okay to buy yourself birthday presents, right?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Hot Box.

No, not a box that is warm in temperature nor a box that is attractive.  The act of being hot boxed.  With a fart.

Bucky Gossard (Buckles the dog) likes to hot box under blankets and then kill you with the stench when you shift and the gas seeps out.  Others like to do it on a first date.  And not even crack a window to throw you a bone.  True story.  This happened to me.  I mean, I would have at least liked to have teased him but with NO indication that a sense of humor existed, I didn't dare go into uncharted territory.  So instead, we both pretended that it didn't happen and I damn near suffocated. And it did not smell good.  It smelled like something died.

Adventures in dating.

Friday, May 11, 2012

When Your Feet Hurt...

...or when you get sick of your kicks you apparently take off your shoes and ditch them right then and there.  How do I know?  I witnessed this.
Spotted: one touristy-looking pair of white kicks downtown Chicago at approximately LaSalle and Ohio.  I wonder a lot of things about the owner, er- former owner.  But mostly I wonder if he (or she?!?!) misses the shoes and/or regrets ditching them.  I had to resist the urge to try them on to see if they'd fit me*.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Business Casual.

I've had my eye on this lovely little watch since I first laid eyes on it.  Isn't it puuuurrrrty?
Reminds me a little of the classic Cartier Tank.  Kind of. I have champagne taste (Cartier) but have a beer budget (Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, not even Corona- I'm unemployed people!).  So imagine when I was perusing the clearance section and stumbled upon this watch!  I snatched it up and scored it for $64 .  And I know it will make me feel very business-like when I wear it. Just you wait and see.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Take Me to The Met.

I haven't ever done a round up of The Met Ball before.  There's always a first time for everything (I hear that's what Justin said to Britney. Shhh...don't tell Jessica).

So here you have it, folks.  My absolute favorite from the night I think might have to be Ginnifer Goodwin.  Kudos to Monique L.  Makes me want to overdose on Vitamin C but not in a bad way.

Dianna Agron is pure perfection.  The dress, the hair, the face.  Well the face is hers.  But it's pretty.

And Julia's niece.  Emma.
That one is certainly coming into her own as a little fashionista.  The color mixed with the belt and the peplum.  It'll certainly end up in her 10 best looks if InStyle ever does that featurette about her.  And they will.

Tom and Gisele.
We get it.  You're gorgeous.  You're rich.  You're perfect.  And you laugh together.  And you like to rub it in.  I can't say I blame you.  In fact it looks like Tom may be trying to impregnate his bride with his magical hand powers.  Don't be surprised if there is a little baby Brady part 2 here in 9 months (er, part 3.  Sorry, Bridge).

And I really dig Rihanna's dress.  It's plain and safe (for her at least) but the texture is refreshing and I feel like it's a different look for RiRi.  Plain and safe isn't what the Met Gala is about (just ask SJP- see below).

Katharine McPhee is flawless.  And she also is a dead ringer for Mary Louise Parker here.  No?

And then there's Beyonce.
I see butt cheek.  And I'm going to call her Barbie.  Because that's what she looked like in EVERY SINGLE photo with that pose.  Arms that won't bend.  Barbie.  Boom.  Would've been better if Ken would've been there with her.  Note to Bey-bey: THIS is how you do sheer with lace (and plumage?).
Ms. Mara got it right. Oh so very right.

Bella Swan.  She will always and only be Bella Swan.  That get-up.  Nope.  No.  Uh-uh.  Negative.

Just no.  To everything.  It's a jagged crossword puzzle paired with AC Slater's leather jacket-turned skirt circa 1991.  And some shoes she borrowed from Diane Keaton.  At least she took some time to do her hair! *

And Rachel Zoe.  I like the dress and love the accessories (true).  And she is the look of health and nourishment (false)!
Positive: at least the above photo isn't not as bad as this.

But still.

And Carrie Bradshaw showed up in a dress made out of my Grandma's curtains.  And not my stylish Grandma.  The other one.
Is that a cat crawled up and taking a nap on the couch?  I can't hate on the structure of the dress but I can hate on the print.  And let's not leave out the bow.  I wonder if it smelled like real-life old lady upholstery.  I sure hope it did.  Then that would make it authentic and then you could really call it vintage.  I'm going to end this one on a positive.  I love the cuffs.  There.

And just in case you forgot about Mr. and Mrs. Perfect.  Here is a reminder to send you on your way.

Let's Not Sugarcoat Anything.

Sometimes you just want to say exactly what you mean.  And sometimes you're cranky.  And then these would be appropriate.

I was shopping with Patrick last week and was at Haberdash in River North and saw these little business cards.  For $10, you can have these on hands to really tell people how you feel.  Did someone park you in and you can't even Austin Powers your way out?  Slip this card onto the windshield.  No explanation necessary.

I'm feeling a little salty today, can you tell?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Orange You Going To Buy Me This Dress?

I covet this Riller & Fount India Gathered Halter maxi dress.  In Papaya.  It speaks to me.  As do most things on Shopbop.


And I want to wear it all summer long.  In Miami.  And I don't want to have to take it off.  Ever.

Monday, May 7, 2012

A Little Water Never Hurt Anyone.

Oh wait.  That isn't 100% accurate.  On April 14th (this girl's birthday) we had quite the rainstorm here and our apartment flooded.  FLOODED.  Like you would step on the carpet in our bedrooms and water would shoot back up at you.  Not cool.  And flood is now considered an "F" word to me.

It's been a nightmare. I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since then.  It's been a lot of getting out of dodge, couch sleeping, staying at friends' places as well as going out and seeking out a rando to go home with just to have a place to lay my head.  Kidding.  Or am I?

I am opening a bottle of Veuve when this is all said and done and I have a home again.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Taste the Rainbow.

I know I won't be able to (nor will I want to) wear any of these after this summer but I can't seem to help myself. Clearly.
When you like something...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Purse Selection.

When buying a purse, it's good to think about what you'll need to fit inside of said purse. Most importantly, you should be able to fit your shoes.
Obviously. Photo taken last Saturday night in the back seat of a cab.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

To Stop or Not to Stop

That is the question. (Sorry Shakespeare- that was bad, I know). Walking to my car yesterday morning I stumbled upon this scene on the sidewalk.
Now, the winds in the appropriately labeled Windy City have been insane-bananas. They've knocked out the power in my apartment twice in the past 24 hours. Not cool. Makes me wonder how it traveled so far. Stop signs (or street signs) are NOT light. Not that I know it'safederaloffensetohaveordecoratewithastreetsign. And I certainly didn't have a street sign in my apartment*. Ever*.
Note: I'm thoroughly convinced that little trap door (at least that's what I like to call it) in my messed up head leads to the depths of hell and I refuse to step on it for fear that I will plunge into the center of the earth. Maybe the stop sign is the trap door's way of warning people to not walk on it? Only one way to find out.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Golden Rule*

I temporarily re-wrote the Golden Rule. It goes something like this- "When you find something you like...
...you buy it in several colors". That's the Golden Rule, right? *** POP O COLOR. This girl is excited for spring.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Saturday, March 3, 2012

I Can't Wait For Summer.

So I can wear this dress.
I scored this a few weekends ago and I DON'T WANT TO WAIT TO WEAR IT!

Friday, March 2, 2012

How Could You Be So Heartless.

Was playing at Barney's a few weeks ago and stumbled upon this candle.
Don't let the name scare you. It's delicious and comes in such a delightful little jar. And every time I see this candle I hear Kanye's "Heartless". I know heartless does not equal loveless but it's what happens in my head.

Monday, February 27, 2012

And The Oscar Goes To...


Annual Oscars blog coming to you straight from Chicago, my first year in NINE years not being in the middle of it all. In fact, for 4 years I LIVED 3 blocks from the Kodak, er Chapter 11 Theatre. Couldn't and wouldn't get in my car the entire weekend.
3 things about the awards show last night before I dive into shoving my opinions on all things red carpet related down your throat:

  • Chris Rock can do no wrong in my book. He could tell me a knock knock joke and forget to tell me the punch line and I would still laugh at it.
  • What on earth was going on with the audio? Subtle auto-tune? Do I have super-sensitive dog-like hearing?
  • I'm in love with Emma Stone. Note: NOT in love with what she wore but I'm in love with her.
If you follow me on twitter, these thoughts are not new to you. Most of this blog will be bo-ring for you to read.

Only one person made me gasp the entire night. And she stole the show. Mrs. Coldplay.
Gwyneth.

She said it best herself, it was her "Jackie O moment". I can't even make any Goop jokes without feeling 200% disrespectful right now, that's how major her look was. Tom Ford, pat yourself on the back you little whippersnapper and treat yourself to an expensive glass of Scotch. You done good, boy.


I hate to admit it but 2 of my favorite looks were from Giuliana Rancic. Loved her hair pulled back and loved her 2 dresses for the pre-pre-show and the pre-show. I cannot find a pic of her pre-pre show long sleeved number anywhere and I don't have the patience to keep digging so trust me when I tell you in was gorrr-gwah! Loved her pre-show look too. Hair, jewels, everything.


Next up? Ms. Chastain. She went for baroque and boy did she ever go for broke.

Green. Anything green makes me happy. Therefore, Viola pleased me greatly on Sunday. Everything about this just works and she looked incredible. Can I have that dress now that you're finished with it? Thanks!

If I learned anything this year it's that apparently sequins are hard to pull off on the red carpet. Anna Farris, Ellie Kemper, Penelope Ann Miller and Melissa Leo all tried. They failed. If the Oscars were the Superbowl, that little yellow penalty flag would have been flying in the air as they all trotted down the carpet. BUT, I think Rose Byrne would have been a touch down (can you tell I'm mourning the loss of football season). I absolutely loved the back of it and she makes me want a bob with bangs.
I love that Michelle Williams and Busy Phillips are besties and Michelle takes Busy as her date. I was on the fence about Michelle's dress but after having seen a glimpse of the sheer back of it I decided that I liked it.

There is something about Elizabeth Banks and her VF party dress that makes me go "Hmmm". But in a good way. Joan Rivers probably called her a polka-dotted peacock but I think it worked on her. And I loved it. There, I said it. I LOVED IT.
I'm conflicted. Kristen Wiig's dress. Nude. Monique. I think had her hair been "done" it would have been a totally different look. I really like the dress. Just think something was off. LOVE the girl though.

Jenny from the Block showed up in a gown that had gums flapping (per usual). This year it was a "did we or didn't we" see her nip. I think I COULD HAVE liked the dress. It had potential. But I the cut outs at the shoulder make me think of those trashy tops that the Real Housewives of Orange County wear. And we all know about those housewives. They wear True Religion jeans and tee shirts that have bedazzled angel wings on the back of them with mesh trucker hats. (Shaking my head).
Her HAIR, on the other hand. I'm all for piling that mess up there but why was it pulled SO TIGHT? It looked like her brains were about to seep out of her hair folicles at any given moment. Have you ever had to pull your hair that tight? Gives you a headache!

Can we talk just for a minute about Angelina Jolie? And can we talk about that pose? Please? No one else seems to be talking about it so I feel like I need to address the leg. *
Didn't she look so comfortable?* (can you tell by now that when I use an asterisk it's supposed to indicate sarcasm?) And didn't that pose look so natural?* A reporter asked her dad about it at the VF party and he said "She comes out and does this pose and waits until people get it, it was so great. The audience responded so wonderfully too, [with] whistles and everything." Um, ok. Oh and those shoes? I'm pretty sure my older sister wore those same shoes to her junior prom in 1991 when her prom song was In Your Eyes and not in an ironic way. It was that long ago. I did like the dress but the fact that she used her leg like a kick stand on a 10 speed made me hate it. We get it. You have long, lean legs and you stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston. Let's move on.

Natalie, Natalie, Natalie. You alllmost had it. Red was definitely a trend this year. And I GET that you work for Dior so you have access to the archives, and I would raid them too if I were you. But if I were you, I wouldn't have chosen a dress that looked like the dotted tights I wore from ages 3-10 (approximately). And while your necklace is probably worth more than the net worth of me and all of my best friends, it looked like it was from Claire's.
You're such a stunning woman, let's try harder next time, mmmmkay?

Sandra Bullock. No. Just, No. SHE looked flawless. That dress is a mess.

Jane Seymour. I have some serious beef with you. First of all WHY are you at the Oscars? WHY were you at the Grammys? Your Open Heart Jewelry collection makes me want to vom. And Kay Jewelers? Malls should not have jewelry stores, first of all. Jane-I used to see you as Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman and now you're just that lady who does the bad jewelry. So just for that you're on my list. And you should probably take a page from Meryl's book (or Dame Helen Mirren) and start dressing age appropriate. Just a thought!

Oh and if I had a dolla for every time Seacrest brought up what happened with The Dictator, I'd be able to buy out the Neiman Marcus shoe section. Truth.

Ok, that's all I've got this year. Until next awards season.

Computer-less Ingy.

A trip to the Apple store is in my immediate future. After about 4 weeks of no computer and no internet access, I'm about to go bonkerballs. My computer self destructed not long after I saw Mission Impossible 4 at the Arclight and I am a LITTLE convinced that the 2 events could be related.

On that note, that is why the annual Oscars bliggity blog is a bit tardier than usual. Stay tuned por favor!

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Meow.

When my feet hurt instead of complaining that my dogs are barking, with these new shoes I'll have to say my cats are meowing.
GROAN. Okay, it was a lot better in my head. And I'm distracted by the Golden Globes.