Sunday, May 13, 2012

Liquid Gold Stud Earrings.

Liquid Gold Stud Earrings.  That name alone would make me want to buy the earrings without having even seen them.  But then I saw them.
And then I loved them.  And decided I needed them in my life.  And it was F&F discount time.  And then I bought them.  For myself.  As a belated birthday present.  Because it's okay to buy yourself birthday presents, right?

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Hot Box.

No, not a box that is warm in temperature nor a box that is attractive.  The act of being hot boxed.  With a fart.

Bucky Gossard (Buckles the dog) likes to hot box under blankets and then kill you with the stench when you shift and the gas seeps out.  Others like to do it on a first date.  And not even crack a window to throw you a bone.  True story.  This happened to me.  I mean, I would have at least liked to have teased him but with NO indication that a sense of humor existed, I didn't dare go into uncharted territory.  So instead, we both pretended that it didn't happen and I damn near suffocated. And it did not smell good.  It smelled like something died.

Adventures in dating.

Friday, May 11, 2012

When Your Feet Hurt...

...or when you get sick of your kicks you apparently take off your shoes and ditch them right then and there.  How do I know?  I witnessed this.
Spotted: one touristy-looking pair of white kicks downtown Chicago at approximately LaSalle and Ohio.  I wonder a lot of things about the owner, er- former owner.  But mostly I wonder if he (or she?!?!) misses the shoes and/or regrets ditching them.  I had to resist the urge to try them on to see if they'd fit me*.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Business Casual.

I've had my eye on this lovely little watch since I first laid eyes on it.  Isn't it puuuurrrrty?
Reminds me a little of the classic Cartier Tank.  Kind of. I have champagne taste (Cartier) but have a beer budget (Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, not even Corona- I'm unemployed people!).  So imagine when I was perusing the clearance section and stumbled upon this watch!  I snatched it up and scored it for $64 .  And I know it will make me feel very business-like when I wear it. Just you wait and see.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Take Me to The Met.

I haven't ever done a round up of The Met Ball before.  There's always a first time for everything (I hear that's what Justin said to Britney. Shhh...don't tell Jessica).

So here you have it, folks.  My absolute favorite from the night I think might have to be Ginnifer Goodwin.  Kudos to Monique L.  Makes me want to overdose on Vitamin C but not in a bad way.

Dianna Agron is pure perfection.  The dress, the hair, the face.  Well the face is hers.  But it's pretty.

And Julia's niece.  Emma.
That one is certainly coming into her own as a little fashionista.  The color mixed with the belt and the peplum.  It'll certainly end up in her 10 best looks if InStyle ever does that featurette about her.  And they will.

Tom and Gisele.
We get it.  You're gorgeous.  You're rich.  You're perfect.  And you laugh together.  And you like to rub it in.  I can't say I blame you.  In fact it looks like Tom may be trying to impregnate his bride with his magical hand powers.  Don't be surprised if there is a little baby Brady part 2 here in 9 months (er, part 3.  Sorry, Bridge).

And I really dig Rihanna's dress.  It's plain and safe (for her at least) but the texture is refreshing and I feel like it's a different look for RiRi.  Plain and safe isn't what the Met Gala is about (just ask SJP- see below).

Katharine McPhee is flawless.  And she also is a dead ringer for Mary Louise Parker here.  No?

And then there's Beyonce.
I see butt cheek.  And I'm going to call her Barbie.  Because that's what she looked like in EVERY SINGLE photo with that pose.  Arms that won't bend.  Barbie.  Boom.  Would've been better if Ken would've been there with her.  Note to Bey-bey: THIS is how you do sheer with lace (and plumage?).
Ms. Mara got it right. Oh so very right.

Bella Swan.  She will always and only be Bella Swan.  That get-up.  Nope.  No.  Uh-uh.  Negative.

Just no.  To everything.  It's a jagged crossword puzzle paired with AC Slater's leather jacket-turned skirt circa 1991.  And some shoes she borrowed from Diane Keaton.  At least she took some time to do her hair! *

And Rachel Zoe.  I like the dress and love the accessories (true).  And she is the look of health and nourishment (false)!
Positive: at least the above photo isn't not as bad as this.

But still.

And Carrie Bradshaw showed up in a dress made out of my Grandma's curtains.  And not my stylish Grandma.  The other one.
Is that a cat crawled up and taking a nap on the couch?  I can't hate on the structure of the dress but I can hate on the print.  And let's not leave out the bow.  I wonder if it smelled like real-life old lady upholstery.  I sure hope it did.  Then that would make it authentic and then you could really call it vintage.  I'm going to end this one on a positive.  I love the cuffs.  There.

And just in case you forgot about Mr. and Mrs. Perfect.  Here is a reminder to send you on your way.

Let's Not Sugarcoat Anything.

Sometimes you just want to say exactly what you mean.  And sometimes you're cranky.  And then these would be appropriate.

I was shopping with Patrick last week and was at Haberdash in River North and saw these little business cards.  For $10, you can have these on hands to really tell people how you feel.  Did someone park you in and you can't even Austin Powers your way out?  Slip this card onto the windshield.  No explanation necessary.

I'm feeling a little salty today, can you tell?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Orange You Going To Buy Me This Dress?

I covet this Riller & Fount India Gathered Halter maxi dress.  In Papaya.  It speaks to me.  As do most things on Shopbop.


And I want to wear it all summer long.  In Miami.  And I don't want to have to take it off.  Ever.

Monday, May 7, 2012

A Little Water Never Hurt Anyone.

Oh wait.  That isn't 100% accurate.  On April 14th (this girl's birthday) we had quite the rainstorm here and our apartment flooded.  FLOODED.  Like you would step on the carpet in our bedrooms and water would shoot back up at you.  Not cool.  And flood is now considered an "F" word to me.

It's been a nightmare. I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since then.  It's been a lot of getting out of dodge, couch sleeping, staying at friends' places as well as going out and seeking out a rando to go home with just to have a place to lay my head.  Kidding.  Or am I?

I am opening a bottle of Veuve when this is all said and done and I have a home again.